FINDING TRUE LOVE SERIES

This series I begun in one of my yahoo groups. This series is based on Journal entries from Linden and his wife, Cristina reflect their lives together through journal entries

Journal Entry # 1(Recalling her true love for Trevor Linden)
Cristina Linden's POV
Finding true love is hard enough to find in one heart but to find true love in two people is even harder because you many never know that the person you are going to be spending the rest of your life with is right in front of your own two eyes. If you can accept that one person in your life then stop living in a fantasy and start living in the real world by believing in true love and let yourself open up with them with your heart and compassion that you have for them. Trust them with your own heart and make sure you can accept them for who they are. I kept wondering whether there is someone for everyone but then I remember a quote my husband, Vancouver Canucks Center Trevor Linden, "LOVE IS NOT A MAYBE THING…YOU KNOW WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE." It had stuck with me ever since we got married because now I know that finding True Love is not a maybe thing. People do make mistakes and they said I made a mistake by marrying Trevor but I do not feel like it was a mistake. Why did everyone thought I made a mistake with marrying Trevor? Trevor became the best man I’ve ever encountered. I’ve dealt with my father’s alcoholic, abusive ways since I was five years old and growing up in Burnaby, British Columbia. I remember when Trevor first encountered my father and I was afraid that my father would disapprove of him, like he did with many people. I knew that Trevor always wanted to make sure I was safe and protected from my father. To make sure that I was never abused again and making sure that I was always safe. I remember that my father’s drinking habits and abusive ways started after my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My father had never been that sweet and caring man that I used to know and he used to be. It seemed as though his loving and caring ways was taken away from him when my mom passed away. It was as though the soul was shred away from and an evil man came inside and took my father’s place. Now he is not the same person and he figures out that I will never get away from him and neither will Trevor. Now my biggest fear is that my father will try to threaten our lives and cause us to wonder if my father will ever change or not. But I believe that my father will change including Trevor will be able to convince him that he can live his life and finding out that threatening our lives might land him in jail. I just hope that my father will trust Trevor enough. But I believe that the love I have for Trevor is strong enough to last and that Love does preside over Evil. We will stick together and no matter what anyone says to us, we do not listen to them. I am saying that a powerful love last longer than a weaker love. Love and trust is what me and Trevor need to make it and go through our relationship. Finding True love is what I found when I married Trevor Linden.

Journal Entry # 1- (Recalling his True Love for Cristina Linden and the 2006-07 Season)
Trevor Linden’s POV
Many people have told me that finding true love is hard but I don’t believe in that. I found my true love in my wife, Cristina Linden, who has been there for me when I needed her the most. She became someone that I could confined into whenever I need her the most . She became my heart and soul whom I can confined into whenever I had trouble at work or with anything else that seemed to trouble my mind. She knew when I was either angry and sad to where I would not want to discussing anything. She was there when I had on ice troubles with Mike Keenan & off ice troubles with the NHL lockout and the aftermath of it. She was there for me when I dealt with my mom’s breast cancer for six months and then I was there for her when she lost her mom to a 2 month battle with the same cancer. Our true love is one of the best things that has happened in my life and I appreciate everything she has done for me. She has been my rock since high school and still is when I have to make the decision for my career. I hope I can find out more in my life and be that player and man that everyone is looking for. Let’s pray I can find what I am looking for and find it fast because right now I am worried that I may never find out what it is. Let me find the courage, strength and everything to do what I’ve been wanting to do: Winning the Stanley Cup!

Journal Entry # 2- (thinking of his past relationships)
Trevor Linden’s POV
I entered the Vancouver Canucks home locker room, wondering if I’ll ever be that same person I was before the lockout. I entered this room and season, wanting to prove I can be a difference maker but now I find myself getting into this room, not knowing if this will be last season, playing in the NHL. It seemed that my heart had already, for the most part, in a different direction that I thought it would never head into: a past I could not enter and a future with my wife, Cristina. She means everything to me and my family doesn’t think so, but I believe the opposite. She has been there for me the easy and rough parts of my career. She knew about parts of my past and knew how to treat everyone right. I used to be in a relationship with a woman in high school who was not only verbally abusive but when she wasn’t screaming at me, she was either physically abusing me or ignoring me. Some of those wounds are not bloody, but they cut a hell of a lot deeper and heal very slowly. All the fights I’ve ever had with my ex have always been screaming or yelling how I didn’t do something right for our relationship. That was one of the worst relationships I’ve ever been with. But here I am now with someone who cares and doesn’t hit or even abuse me. I am at my stall thinking of everything in my relationship and everything in my career. All the disappointments and achievements that I accomplished as a Vancouver Canucks. The hard years with Mike Keenan and loosing the Stanley Cup to the New York Rangers. It all seems as though it flashes right through my eyes in an instant. Like I can go back through them and see what I did right and wrong. But I am now thinking of that sitting in this locker room, like it was going to be the last day I would be a Vancouver Canuck and play in the NHL. But then I begin to wonder if I can play another season. I do have the whole season to thinking about if I want to retire or not.

Journal Entry # 2- (recalling her trust issues)
Cristina Linden's POV
I know what it takes now to be with a man who plays professional hockey and how you become a part of their lives and find out what makes them mad or happy. What types of foods they eat and how they prepare for their games? What types of moods they are in when they loose a game or win one? You get used to it and makes you wonder whether you are ready for everything in life. But I know I was made for it and I would never leave my husband over anything stupid. I would never hurt him because we’ve been through the tough and good times of every ways in possible. It feels amazing that when you are able to help out people and able to make sure they are safe. It makes everyone feel safe when you can trust that person enough. I wonder whether feeling safe is the right way for me to go right now. I feel like my love and trust was taken away after everything that my father did to me and Trevor. I am alone and Trevor is away at his hockey games which is sometimes scary for me because I do not know if he is going to make it safely or not. Now I know if my father ever came back, that Trevor will protect me and make sure that my father will never attack me again.

Journal Entry # 3- (Recalling the NHL lockout-PART 1)
TREVOR LINDEN’S POV
Hey, welcome to the 2006-07 season with the Vancouver Canucks and I can’t believe it is another season has come around and I feel as though I am not ready to play. I want to play but am already second guessing on if I can play a better season than I did last year. Can I do it or is this some big joke to everyone? Last year, I am not even going to mentioned what happened and that is one season I would like to forget. A season where almost everyone had doubt in me and never realize what I could bring to our team but Cristina stuck with me. She knew that I could make a difference in anyone’s lives and had that courage for me to go on and prove to everyone.
Everyone, you know what it is, the NHL lockout that I was involved with as the NHLPA president.. I felt as though the whole weight of the NHL were on my shoulders and I wish that I could find a solution for these problems. But I did not and it made me wonder if I could ever end this damn lockout or not. What would my future look like? Would I still be that man to count on? Or not? I am praying that I am! This means so much to me that if I can beat this challenge then I can help out everyone. Can some one help me out? Is there anyone who can help me out? Or am I on my own?
I feel so fucking tired that I wish that this was all over and I am growing distant from Cristina. I am praying that she does not figure that out. I have to make a move to end this lockout and I am going to find out, you’ll see. I’ve spend so much time studying these documents, analyzing this data that Bob Goodenow keeps sending me as we try to negotiate with Gary Bettman and the National Hockey League so that these players can play hockey again.
This lockout has taken the life out of me and I am stressed out with these problems. I wish that there was one day were I could just sleep and then try to find out a solution. Or maybe not. Who knows? If Goodenow would get it through his thick skull that we need to end this, then we would not have to go through this stupid lockout. I am saying this guy has not think straight when we talked to Bettman. We have these union meetings and nothing can get through because Goodenow says no the salary cap and that ends the meetings immediately. I am taking time to studying these issues facing the union and hardly a figurehead as NHLPA president. I have been providing the same kind of leadership I exhibit on and off the ice since my career began. I used to speak out against a salary cap, I used to do with passion and a real belief in my principles. Believe me, I come by my determination honestly. But I am now not speaking against the salary cap because I believe this will help end the lockout.
Now here I am sitting at my desk, wondering why Goodenow said no to the salary cap. I feel as though when I spearhead these meetings between the NHLPA and NHL these past few months, finding that these processes of negotiating to be revealing. I believe now that these player want desperately to find a solution and are willing to examine new ways of getting there. But to my mind, it always seemed to lead to a salary cap. I accepted this fourth term to be the NHLPA president because I felt as though I could make a difference in the NHL and now here I am finding myself in the middle of contentious collective negotiations, flying hither and yon to the meetings in airport lounges and secret locations while fighting a losing public relations battle. All I know is that if the CBA is reached in time to save a portion of the 2004-05 season, I will be deserved much of this credit. If this season is canceled, then I will be lauded for taking the process further than imagined.
I am trying to avoid that as much as I can but I face may other problems. Because this is the first work stoppage for most NHLers, I spend most of my time answering questions from frustrated players, now scattered across the globe. I also saddled with the burden of being a Canadian player being on a Canadian team entrusted with the future of Canada’s game. As I accept this term as president of the NHLPA, I’ve been described as thoughtful and able to maintain my composure in stressful and emotional situations as people say the perfect personality for this position. But I seemed to be loosing my patients and becoming more stressful as the lockout continues without any process. Who knows what isgoing to happen to this NHLPA lockout?
Journal Entry -ENDING THE LOCKOUT
TREVOR LINDEN’S POV
Who knows what is going to happen to this NHLPA lockout? Well, all I know is that if someone like me or Bettman don't end this lockout pretty soon, we are going to have more angry fans on our backs than we wanted in the first place. I just hope that one of us has the guts to tell Bettman and Goodneow it's time to end this argument about a cap or not and get on playing with hockey. Well, I've decided to that it's time to make sure that this lockout is going to end and I am going to make sure of it. Because right now, I wish this god damn lockout were all over and I want to play hockey. Please can someone find some answers for me? This lockout is wearing me down and I do not know how in the world I am going to survive from it. I reached out to the owners and invited Hotchkiss to talk. That was one of the biggest move I made all during the lockout was asking the chairman, board of governors from the NHL, Harley Hotchkiss to have a meeting in Chicago without Gary Bettman or Bob Goodenow to see if we can come to agreement to end this long lockout. Did I tell you how much I hate Bob Goodenow? Well I do because that guy was the main reason we didn't get the lockout done earlier. He made decisions that I would never considered making. The session lasted about five hours, including several breaks so each three-man negotiating group could huddle. I believe that the fate the NHL season rests on the ability of us negotiating peace during a labor war, we are the right people for the job, according to those who know us including our close family members. We did have good results after the meetings and the lockout ended the following summer on July 22, 2005, but the fallout of the labor war caught up wtih me. On July 12, 2006, I choosed not to run again for the president of the NHLPA and on October 2, 2006, I was named along with Ted Saskin by a small dissident group of players who weren't happy with the way Saskin had been installed as executive director. The attacks I received from people like Chris Chelios, not to mention a former friend in Trent Klatt, had shook me to the core. Why would someone turn their back on me? Someone I used to play with and be friends with. I am never going to talk to hose men ever again. Now that the lockout is over, let's pray that I don't have any other bad memories that come up besides what I had talk about. I am now ending my discussion about the lockout and moving on to different things in the future, like making sure my relationship with Cristina stays strong and never goes away. Let's pray for that.

Journal Entry # 3 (recalling her mom's battle with breast cancer)
CRISTINA'S POV
Remembering when my own mom was battling breast cancer is the hardest memory I keep with me and it scared me to a point where I was going to loose someone I consider so damn close to me. Then, I found out that my mom's cancer is terminal and she only had a few months to live. I wish I could figure out a cure so my mom could live until she was old. But now I realize she is now going to fight it and may not live through this tough battle. Loosing my mom will be the hardest I've ever dealt with in my life. I am now a few weeks into my mom's cancer treatments and I can barely recognize her. She looks so weak and thin that she doesn't resemble the woman I used to know. And then the most amazing thing happened to me as I met Trevor Linden, the man who was going to be the one I will spend the rest of my life with, at high school and we hit it off like we've known eachother since we were five years old, helped me through so many struggles that I would probably not make it. He has been my soulmate ever since we met and now here we are , going against a struggle I thought we've never go against. But now we are amd ot scares me to a point where I do not want to loose the one person I love and trust the most. My mom is the one person I can trust besides Trevor and that's going to hurt. I have really decided that I am going to spend my days with my mom and remember everything about her, so that I can keep a visual on what my mother really looked like and remmeber her goals for me. But what if some of her goals are not what I want and she wants. Here I am, loosing my mind and my mom is lying not even 50 meters away, in a starch white hospital bed, dying. A few months later, my mother died of breast cancer after a four month battle and it put me to the breaking point. I was never going to see her again and she was always able to help me out in situations. What am I going to do? Who do I go to? Where can I find it! Someone help me find answers! END ENTRY
Journal Entry # 5 (recalling his mom's diagnosed with breast cancer)TREVOR'S POV
Hey, it's me, Trevor Linden, the man who is worried more about his career than his family. Why is that people care more about careers more than their families? Why is that? My mom, Edna, always told me, "Never give up on your family and everytrhing else is if your career is done." And did I listen to her advice: no, I didn't and here I am stuck with a decision that may or may not change my life. I either retire next season or play for two more seasons. I didn't know the answer to these questions anymore. Now, I am reflecting on what my mom said to me and know that her words meant more to me than I'll ever admit to. I always wanted my mom to know I care about her and know that I support everything she does for me. My mom is my biggest supporter and always will be. She made sure everything went well with me at school and practice. She helped me through the struggles than put together what my dad and siblings did for me. But when I found out she was diagnosed with breast cancer, two years ago, I was devasted and conused on why a healthy woman could get breast cancer but then I learn that anyone can get cancer. So her treatments and recovery became more important to me than my career and everything that was troubling my mind at the time. Cristina had lost her mom to breast cancer a few years ago and I hope she will be there for me. I know this is hard on her but I need her help. Will she be there for me or will she abandoned me like it was not worth working at?

Journal Entry # 5 (recalling his mom's lengthly battle with breast cancer)
TREVOR'S POV
Imagine trying to do your best at your job if your mom was in the hospital screaming from the pain of the chemotherapy burning inside her body to destroy the cancerous cells. Imagine your mom double over in pain, unable to eat or do much because you have a job to do. This is what happens in reality to those who suffer from the devasting effects of breast cancer. That was the condition of my mom, Edna Linden, was dealing last year while I was trying to find myself after a year long lockout. It was a touch and go for a while, which was hard on me and my wife, Cristina, as she was having a much harder time with her mom's own battle with cancer but her mom died. I'll never use it as an excuse, but the fact is it did make it hard to go to the rink every night. I never made an excuse to why I was playing horrible or to why I was not on top of my game during times where they needed me the most. I just found a way to perserve through most of the pain that many people thought I could never go through. No one knows what it feels like to have a parent go through what I've been through. My mom was the main reason why I love playing hockey. She became an inspiration to me and she was a fighter. A few months later, my mom's battle with cancer was over and she made it. I am so lucky that she survived and made it through these rough times. Now I can start thinking about happy thoughts and making my life better by trying to reconnect with my wife Cristina. If I can or not, it's hard to tell right now but I am praying that I can.
END ENTRY